Liz Dunn and Elton

Being alone vs Being lonely

By Liz Dunn, NCCOA Marketing & Communications Director

After a long day, knowing I can go home for some me-time is very satisfying. Even though I share my home with a cat named Elton, for all intents and purposes I’m on my own.

There’s something quite delicious about having the house to yourself. It will be the way you left it when you return. You can really do whatever – whenever – you want. There’s no schedule for meals, you don’t have to cook…or clean for that matter. (However, I do both.) It’s really quite freeing.

Yes, it’s true I live alone (with Elton, of course). But I’m not lonely.

Being alone is the physical state of not being with another individual. Being lonely is an emotional state where you are feeling disconnected from others.

Both are choices. However, as we age the options may be more limiting. One thing is for sure: As we age, social connections are key to health and happiness.

Humans are a very social species. Our lives are built around a certain amount of social interaction and physical proximity. Being isolated is not healthy – mentally nor physically. Social isolation is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia and other serious medical conditions. Long-term feelings of loneliness can cause anxiety and fear, and can have the same impact on your body as smoking or obesity.

A report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) points out that more than one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely, and nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated.

Loneliness can be a catch-22. As we age, we are more likely to encounter physical or mental challenges that may make socializing more difficult, such as vision or hearing loss. Some of the friends and loved ones who used to navigate life with us may no longer be around. And driving is not a given.

But there’s always someone…a relative, friend or neighbor, and even staff and volunteers at Nassau County Council on Aging (Fernandina Beach and Hilliard). You can come to us for activities, classes, volunteer opportunities, or we can come to you through our Friendly Visitor Program, Meals on Wheels or NassauTRANSIT…all connections to help alleviate loneliness.

Everyone feels lonely from time to time. Feelings of loneliness are personal, so everyone’s experience will be different. When loneliness is prolonged and becomes mentally or physically debilitating, that’s when you send up the white flag.

And we’ll answer. You may even meet Elton.

Sources – AARP, American Psychological Association, CDC, NASEM, Psychology Today