by Janice Ancrum, NCCOA President & CEO
As Father’s Day approaches, my anxiety begins to build and the sadness creeps in. The loss of my Dad 7 months ago seems like yesterday and I still find myself walking toward his bedroom to sit and talk with him, bringing him up to date on all the latest regarding our family. Words cannot express the void I feel when I think of him, which is a daily occurrence.
Although I keep wishing for one more day with him, I can’t help but remember all the days I was blessed to have with him and the many adventures we had together. My precious mother died nearly 40 years ago at the young age of 47, and I became the surrogate mother to my 7 siblings to support our family unit. I was 24 years old at the time but did what I could to keep our family together, working full time and raising my daughter. My Dad became my rock, confidante, prayer partner, best friend, traveling companion, advisor and much more. We laughed and cried together and made all important decisions together as a team. He was my hero and it was a joy to be in his company. The memories are vast. Dad was my forever date to many events and my biggest cheerleader. He believed in me when I did not believe in myself. His encouragement and confidence in me was gratifying.
Now that he is no longer with me on this earth, I sometimes feel so lost. We spent every holiday together and Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter were hard to bear. After church, we would retreat to my home and celebrate with lots of food, chatter, laughter, sports and everything that brought us closer together. We were inseparable.
When his health began to fail, I moved him into my home and our bond grew even stronger. We switched roles – I became the caregiver and he became the one receiving the care. It was my honor to be able to care for him and with the help of our beloved Rosie, my daughter Janeecee, my grandson Jaylen, my brother Sean and me, he was never alone. Watching him take his last breath on Oct 28, 2022, came with so many emotions: Love, Heartbreak and Gratitude.
As I look back on our earthly journey, I have no regrets. God granted him 86 years and 62 of those years, he was my Daddy. I was so proud to be his daughter. I hope I made him proud of me. There’s no love like a Father’s love. I would have easily given my life for him and I told him so. He once told my daughter this: “I need to pass on so that Janice could have a life of her own because she won’t do it as long as I am alive.”
My parents taught me so much. They molded me into the human being I am today and although I have shortcomings, I didn’t turn out too badly. They taught me love for my fellow man, respect and reverence for others, faith in God, kindness and gratitude. In a thousand lifetimes, I could never thank them enough.
So, on this first Father’s Day without him, I will reflect on his unconditional love and all the beautiful memories. My siblings and I will celebrate him and worship together as we did with him when he was alive. May God bless his sweet soul and for those reading this who still have your parents, love them fiercely and intentionally because one day there will only be memories.